The Obligatory Hello

I'm Kate and my brother is Max and this is a blog dedicated to our constant struggle and fear of mediocrity. We are indeed less attractive than the Gyllenhaals but our vanity tells us otherwise. Genes may not have given us chiseled jaws or straight hair but they did give us just enough denial to help us get by. If you are drunk, we are HOT and SO FUNNY. If you are not drunk, we'll strike you as more of an investment piece, like a fine wine or a block of cheese. We'll continue to get more attractive, just not at the speed you were hoping for. Don't get me wrong, it'll happen--overly obsessive styling and frantic dressing room phone calls to each other will ensure that we will eventually become presentable and (possibly) smokin'--but you'll just have to be patient.

We're not assholes. Quite the contrary. We keep that private. Private assholes. We love most people and don't bother to pretend liking the rest, a trait we got from our mother. She is small, often offensive and completely unaware of both of those things. To balance the genes out, however, is our father's absurdly positive outlook (countered by our shared excessive anxiety/hypochondria) and his ability to grow body hair at alarming speeds (though Max's head may have missed the memo in recent months). Our parents couldn't be less similar and their differences have helped produce the epitome of Darwinian advances.

We like the sound of our own voices (hence the blog), LOVE bread and are prone to acid reflux. I wore braces to senior prom and Max has to take his Invisaligns out when he eats. He puts them in his pocket. I once twisted my ankle dancing to Madonna's "La Isla Bonita" and Max used to angstily listen to Nickelback.

This blog's "misson statement", so to speak, is rather vague. All we know now is that he is in New York City, I'm in Boston. We haven't quite chosen a gimmick yet, unless Max has some insight he hasn't told me about. For now, it's two siblings, miles apart, brought together through writing, wit and a nagging need for not just acceptance, but a constant outpour of love and adoration.

That sums it up. Hello, we look forward to changing some lives.